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In the spirit of fairness, nobody expected Stephen King to pop up in the Dark Tower movie.

He’s certainly there in the original novels. King’s psychopathically ambitious fantasy series, now condensed into a big-screen adaptation directed by Nikolaj Arcel, shows up in person to confront his characters in the series’ final book. Heroes Roland Deschain and Jake Chambers (who previously died, but also kind of didn’t, but now he’s fine, so don’t worry about it) travel to our world and save King from the real-life fatal van accident that nearly killed him in 1999. Their intervention ensures King can live on to write the Dark Tower novels, and they can continue their fictional quest to defend the Tower, the nexus of all realities.

As the…

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