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At 2:59PM on September 28th, less than 24 hours before the launch of the SNES Classic, I felt a deep, familiar pang of regret about not purchasing one in advance. I’m generally against the idea of preordering anything, but the order window for the Classic had long passed. If I wanted to buy one on launch day, my options were as follows: get in line hours early and hope for the best, or follow someone who did get one, and mug them.

Desperation makes a woman do crazy things, but the most outrageous thing about my internal ordeal is that I already own every game I’m dying to play on the SNES Classic. Earthbound and Super Mario RPG? Picked them up on my Wii U virtual console ages ago. Would you like to know which copy of Final Fantasy III I…

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